Communication between people has been facing many changes in recent decades. It has changed dramatically since the introduction of the internet and social media, as have the methods in which people speak and listen to one another. Knowing how to listen is a challenging skill to master since it necessitates self-control as well as concentration, comprehension, and effort to grasp the other's message. How can we be sure we're paying attention to what the other is saying? Here, we'll go over some key concepts about what it means to truly listen to someone.
Showing Interest
When we talk to someone, we like to notice that the person is paying attention to what we say. The same thing occurs when we are the ones listening. If we do not show interest to the other person, they will perceive that we are not paying attention and will probably feel somewhat ignored. Short comments and agreement gestures are good options for demonstrating that we are paying attention. Maintaining eye contact, lowering distance, orienting the posture towards the other, preventing arm-twisting, and so on are all crucial aspects of a listening body position.
Empathize
It is very difficult to establish an active listening without empathy. In order to really listen to the other, it will be necessary to put ourselves in their shoes. Only then can we get closer to understanding their position, even if they’re narrating something that never happened to us, or we are completely unaware of. Empathy will also make you notice the subtleties in the message that the other person is giving you, that is, not only with the words, but also with the gestures, tone of voice and emotions that they express. Remember to practice empathy the next time you want to improve your listening skills. This will help you encourage more people to open up to you and you will be able to communicate with others more effectively.
Giving Feedback
This is a very important aspect of effective communication. To put it into practice you can request that they clarify ideas that were not clear and try to reformulate in your own words the message that you have received. Thus, we avoid falling into unnecessary misunderstandings. It usually happens on occasions, that when the other person tells us something, they just need to discharge, but they are not looking for our opinion on the matter. As a result, you should be cautious when giving feedback, because it's sometimes better to listen and give a big hug before saying something that makes the situation worse.
Don’t Judge
It is inevitable that when the interlocutor is expressing his ideas to us, we draw similarities with incidents in our own lives or recall comparable experiences, however, you must remember that this is not about yourself, but about providing effective listening to the other person. You must be able to silence your internal dialogue. To do this, avoid jumping to conclusions while the other person is speaking, try to override your preconceived prejudices about the subject, put aside your emotions and try not to interrupt.
Transformation
Finally, true listening is defined by the ability of communication to transform the listener. That is, if the listener continues to act and think the same way after a talk, the sender will believe it was not heard, and will conclude that having that conversation was pointless. When we approach a conversation with a predetermined viewpoint, we rule out the option of changing our views, of revising our position, and thus we enter the conversation without a genuine desire to listen. Listening without putting yourself in a position to change is not listening.
