We have all experienced times in our lives when we have been deeply saddened. Whether the pain is triggered by a particular scenario or a personal quarrel, it is frequently accompanied by unpleasant emotions or even a desire for vengeance. The cause of the pain seems unfair to us, which is why we are unwilling to forgive; nonetheless, forgiving is an action that can provide you with far more rewards than you may realize. With these suggestions, you'll be able to learn to forgive and go on to a more fulfilling life.
Express Your Feelings
The first step toward forgiving what you're having trouble overcoming is to express your feelings. You must get it out, whether it's by talking to a buddy, meditating on what happened, or talking to yourself. It is critical that you define your views and be clear about what you want to get out of the conversation before approaching that person, as otherwise an even bigger problem could arise. Writing in a journal or simply writing a letter are fantastic ways to express yourself without feeling criticized. When you put it into words, you'll notice that everything takes on a new meaning and stops expanding like a gigantic ball inside you.
To truly forgive is not an easy task. But becoming conscious of the negative consequences of not forgiving someone can really help. Mood swings, bitterness, and resentment are frequently associated with unforgiveness. None of these feelings are pleasant, therefore the sooner we can truly forgive, the sooner we can be free of all the harm we have accumulated. It is critical that you confront the circumstance that is bothering you rather than attempting to avoid or deny it; you must be conscious of the influence it has had on you and even on others in your life.
Accepting ourselves implies living with both the positive and the negative of oneself. Many times when we are faced with rejection or disappointment in others, we must pause to consider the importance we are placing on the matter and ask ourselves honest questions about how we really feel. We must recognize that we have also made mistakes in the past and that there is a possibility that we would have acted in a similar way given the same circumstances. Seeing this helps us put things into perspective and recognize that every story contains some gray areas and not everything is black and white.
Learn to Listen
After accepting yourself with the good and the bad, the next step is to try to accept others. On many occasions, when someone hurts us, we often close in on ourselves and refuse to open our eyes and hearts to what they are trying to tell us. In order to forgive, we must understand both our own intentions and grounds for anger, as well as the reasoning of the other. It's critical to put ourselves in the shoes of the other, and perhaps, through empathy and understanding, there’s a chance we might forgive him.
Don’t Expect Something in Return
Finally, before facing the path of forgiveness, it’s important to understand that this does not necessarily imply reconciliation with the other person, nor does it imply that you should forget what happened. Another important thing to understand is that forgiving someone does not imply that the other person will change, in fact forgiveness benefits the giver more than the receiver. For example, there are scenarios where we are not allowed to forgive face to face and we will have to settle for forgiving from within knowing that we have released those negative emotions, leaving behind any kind of resentment.